Staying safe socially

If you don’t know your MySpace from your Facebook, it’s unlikely you’ll know what your children are doing. Are they just a click away from a predatory stranger? Raymond Dunthorne reports

 

Social networki ng websites appear to put your children a click away from predatory strangers, but on the other hand they provide a way for your children to communicate and interact with friends, rather than sitting alone in front of a computer or console game killing zombies. However, how much do you know about who your children are exchanging pleasantries, gossip and other personal information with via MySpace, Facebook, or Bebo?

What are social networks?

Social networks provide a way for users of all ages to quickly establish a presence of their own on the internet. The difference between social networks and, for instance, a personal webpage, is that the social networks facilitate ways for friends and people with shared interests to communicate with each other.

Friends can keep in touch, form groups, or just generally announce to the world (or just their select group of peers) how they’re feeling or what they’re up to. When you set up your own MySpace page (see www.myspace.com) or Bebo page (see www.bebo.com) you can style it to your heart’s desire without a piece of design or web development software in sight. Adding music or video can be done in a few clicks and, on Bebo or Facebook (see www.facebook.com) users can send anything from personality tests, to quizzes, virtual presents and photos to each other – all with little or no technical knowledge and all without getting a credit card out.

Who uses social networks?

Everyone uses social networks, from the Arctic Monkeys to David Cameron. Corporate interest has grown greatly over the past few years, which helps account for the rise in average user age.

On MySpace, under 12% of users are in the 12-to-17-year-old age bracket, but 45% are between 35 and 45 years old. Over 50% of Facebook users are over 25 years old, while Bebo (the first social network to be banned in a school in the UK, when Helston Community College in Cornwall banned its pupils from using it in school in July 2006) has the youngest demographic, with around 50% of users being under 18.

Despite the statistics that scarily indicate how your pre-teen child might be in something of a minority age-wise on their social network of choice, it’s not as if you’re letting your child go to a real world club where everyone is much older. Your child will probably have plenty of friends already keeping in touch via Bebo or MySpace and there’s little reason to worry about your child being in any more danger from predators than they are when they answer the phone, go to school, or go to church. However, there are precautions you should take to ensure your children stay safe on social networks.

Which social network should my child be on?

There’s no reason to restrict your child to one social network. As long as they have the time and patience to set up their own profile on each one, let them! They’re likely to have some friends or interests that share some or all of the currently popular social networks.

However, as a general guideline:

Bebo

• It is popular with under 18 year olds (although 30% of its users are aged between 15 and 24).
• You can set your Bebo profile so only friends can see it.
• You can customise your homepage with colourful “skins”.
• Bebo is the most popular social network in the UK, just beating MySpace*.

MySpace

• Typically, more than 60% of MySpace users are over 25 years old.
• MySpace is a great place to discover unsigned bands – it's what we have to thank for the wildfire-like spread of a band otherwise unknown outside of Sheffield: The Arctic Monkeys.
• Even the Post Office® has its own MySpace page – well, the Sub Postmaster star of the celebritystudded TV advertisements for the Post Office does:
  www.myspace.com/postofficeken.
• MySpace has the broadest appeal and is easy to add favourite music and videos to, but Bebo and Facebook are deemed as slightly better at the “networking” aspects.

Facebook

• Originally intended for students, but it is now as likely to be on-screen on someone’s computer in your office than the company intranet is. Over 33% of Facebook users are over 18 years old.
• Recently, the US military had to ban use of MySpace among its service personnel in Iraq (because the higher video and graphics content took more of a toll on the limited bandwidth available), but it didn't block Facebook, which was more likely to be used by more senior officers! It did begin its life in Harvard after all. . .
• Facebook users tend to use their real, full names, rather than the made-up identities that appear on Bebo and MySpace.
• One of the most popular Facebook activities is to “poke” someone. This is merely giving them a little virtual reality wave, though, and is not to be misinterpreted!

For more information, visit:

www.myspace.com
www.bebo.com
www.facebook.com

House rules for social networking Make sure the house rules for social networking are yours, whatever social networks your children use and whatever the age or gender of your child. Don’t rely on the social networks themselves for moderation or policing. Some social networks have a lower age limit of 13 years. Many younger children get round this in the time-honoured fashion – yes, they tell a little fib to ensure they have access to all the features and facilities and can join their friends online. Check what age your child appears as on the social network they are on and decide yourself whether this is something you need to address with them. Learn about the social network your child is using, or wants to use. Join it yourself. It won’t cost anything and you’ll be in a better position to understand what your child is doing. Don’t rely on any parental controls provide by Microsoft Windows, or parental control software to take responsibility. It’s your job to supervise and moderate your child’s computer use, especially when they are potentially interacting with strangers. Keep the PC in a common room in your home, not a child’s bedroom. If they need a PC for games or homework in their own space, have an on-line PC in a common area and an off-line-only PC in their own room. Develop a collaborative culture in your home so your children are happy you are not trying to interfere or be nosy. However, be aware that your young teen children would probably be very uncomfortable should you decide one day to join them in the school playground and if you expect to become involved with their on-line world of friends, you may be equally disappointed. Ensure your child never arranges to meet anyone they don’t know. Don’t hesitate to develop a culture in your home whereby you absolutely assure them that you can guarantee no one on-line is exactly who they say they are – with the exception of their existing circle of friends from the real world, of course. Tell them “It’s just one of those things about the internet” because it is! Ensure that when your child sets up their profile that they don’t use their real full name. Consider using one of the sites where this is easily possible. Even make sure that any photographs your child uploads (it’s common practice to share digital photographs online) are suitable and don’t contain too much in the way of identifiable features of your home, especially street names or car registrations. Take sensible precautions, take responsibility, try to be interested and involved and ensure you have a healthy culture of scepticism in your home in reference to the online world. Don’t let scare stories about on-line predators stop you from helping your child make the most of social networking, just like you wouldn’t stop them from going to school, church, or on holiday just because sometimes bad things happen. At least while they are on-line, you know where they are and can do your best to encourage and support them as they interact with friends, develop new interests, share music and generally tie up the computer when you would probably rather be using it yourself to track down old school friends on Facebook!

 

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